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this is beautiful
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kittycatlady said:
“You’re best friend has been eyeing me off for months.” or “I faked every orgasm.” works too.
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nickdoesthings said:
I like going with. ‘It wasn’t working out before, you were just so enamoured with showing me off to your friends that you didn’t notice.’
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- Show more notes

Suggested responses to, “This isn’t working out any more”:
- Whatever.
- What isn’t working out any more? Oh, you thought we were a… Oh…
- No, YOU hang up first! (Storm off.)
- Then I’d wanna get checked out if I were you.
- I fucked your mom.
- I fucked your best friend.
- (If you don’t mind who you sleep with, you can actually fuck the person’s mom/best friend/sister/elderly benefactor - it will upset them and then you will have won.)

