I just accidentally deleted a question from my inbox where I was asked why and how my stance on porn, the consumption of porn and the porn industry as a whole has changed. Sorry! The question came from a post I made three years ago saying I wouldn’t personally give a shit if a partner watched porn - they wanted to know why I would care now.

My stance for or against pornography and the porn industry as a whole has never been a personal stance, it is a social and political one. I would not have cared, at eighteen, if I had a boyfriend who watched porn because, 

a) I have never been insecure enough to assume that a sexual partner would compare our personal time together with time he had spent watching pornography,

but more importantly b) I was neither self-aware or worldly-aware enough to understand the wider implications of porn production and consumption. At eighteen, my thoughts on pretty much everything centred around How Does This Affect Me? and Do I Give A Shit Right Now In This Moment? If the answer to either/both questions was ‘no’, then the loud, stroppy teenage incarnation of me didn’t bother to look further into things. That is a shitty thing to do, but it’s very common for teenagers, or so I would like to hope.

Three years on and in a very committed relationship, I still wouldn’t care from a personal point of view if my partner chose to consume pornography. By ‘personal’, I mean that I would not feel threatened by the women or scenarios depicted within pornographic films, because I am a confident person and skilful sexual communicator. However I would not tolerate porn consumption in a relationship because I am genuinely and strongly anti-porn, it is important to my personal ethics and this is something I talk about with my partner. Because my stance is social and political, it would bother me if the person I chose to spend my life with did not see and respect where I was coming from.

I can’t tag your URL because I don’t remember it, but I hope this answers your question. x

spearmintblonde:

My good friend Sarina and I finally got around to doing the photoshoot we started planning six months ago & we’re so stoked on the results! This is my favourite shot by far but I’ll be posting the rest over the next few days, with slightly more interesting captions. 
To the best of my knowledge, Sarina’s offering some pretty cool deals on shoots at the moment, so any unsigned models in the Brisbane region looking to pretty up your portfolio, get in contact with ma girl & she’ll help you out! This was just a fun Sunday arvo shoot between friends, but I’ll post the links below to check out her urban, streetwear, fashion & editorial work. xo
Sarina’s Website | Sarina’s Facebook 

spearmintblonde:

My good friend Sarina and I finally got around to doing the photoshoot we started planning six months ago & we’re so stoked on the results! This is my favourite shot by far but I’ll be posting the rest over the next few days, with slightly more interesting captions. 

To the best of my knowledge, Sarina’s offering some pretty cool deals on shoots at the moment, so any unsigned models in the Brisbane region looking to pretty up your portfolio, get in contact with ma girl & she’ll help you out! This was just a fun Sunday arvo shoot between friends, but I’ll post the links below to check out her urban, streetwear, fashion & editorial work. xo

Sarina’s Website | Sarina’s Facebook 

spearmintblonde:

I was recently checking my tag on Tumblr (yes, I do that, shoot me) when I came across a post entitled “An open letter to Daisy Lola”, which for various reasons criticised my views on equality.

This letter was written by some bloke, who apparently believes that if a woman chooses to get her kit off in any circumstance other than the marital bed - I am being inflammatory here, once again, shoot me - then she has no respect for herself & clearly could not possibly hold a relevant opinion within this world.

And I quote:

"Through out your videos, you have allowed yourself to be viewed in revealing clothing and your underwear. This does not leave a positive you on females in society at all which firstly makes me question your genuine passion for equality and feminism in society."

(Assuming he means “a positive view” rather than “a positive you”, here.)

I’m sorry, being revealed in my underwear somehow casts a negative light on females? God forbid a woman wear… Underwear! It might reveal her… Private parts! Gross! Slutty! Wrong!

But why are these parts viewed as inherently ‘private’? Why should we not get them out? Why is being seen in a bikini completely okay, but in our underwear is somehow shameful or shocking despite the two revealing the exact same amount of skin? 

Because of rape culture my friend, that’s why.
When you teach us to be ashamed of our bodies, you teach us that skin is something that’s going to rile people up; skin is something we need to cover, because it gets men going, it reduces us to mere objects and blah blah blah - maybe you think you’re teaching us this to protect us, when in reality what you are doing is grooming us for the idea that we have something to fear from our own fucking skin. 

Showing my skin means I’m not supporting equality?

Tell that to the fact that men can walk around topless and it is perfectly legal and acceptable, yet simply because women have more fat in the exact same area, our breasts are considered something we must hide away until ‘the right man’ comes along and ‘respects us’ enough to take our fucking shirts off.

Tell that to ‘boner’ jokes in the media, in television, in comedy and in our everyday lives; tell that to the fact that a man having an erection, whilst somewhat comical is perfectly fucking okay whereas a woman wearing tight clothing that shows the shape of her vulva (AKA ‘camel toe’) is seen as disgusting and completely okay to be mocked.

Tell that to advertising that uses sex, sexuality, MY SEXUALITY to sell you cheap perfume, animal tested cosmetics and tacky fucking men’s deodorant, yet perpetuates a culture where if I choose to walk around in a midriff top and ripped up denim shorts, I am somehow a “slut”.

Let’s not even get started on girls who post nudes on the internet. Yuck, what attention whores, what trashy, trashy women who clearly do not get enough attention in their own lives and need the validation of ‘likes’ on the internet. Yeah how about fucking no, mate.

Whether or not I make videos in my underwear is none of your concern, mate. You can watch and like my tits, or you can watch and dislike my tits. You can watch and listen to what I’m actually saying, or you can watch and focus on the fact that you can see two mounds of fat above a cheap black lacy bra. I didn’t make the video for you, I sure as shit didn’t take these photos for you and whether or not they exist has nothing to do with equality whatsoever. 


Smart girls can showcase their sexuality on the internet.
Stupid girls can showcase their sexuality on the internet.
Smart boys can showcase their sexuality on the internet.
Stupid boys can showcase their sexuality on the internet.
Smart and stupid people of every possible gender and sex orientation under the sun can showcase their sexuality on the internet.

And, terrifyingly enough, sometimes the human body in minimal/no clothing has nothing to do with sexuality at all. Crazy thought, no?

I am a twenty year old woman putting myself through university, living independently and trying to get by in the world. I have good grades, two jobs, a hell of a lot of friends I need to make more time for, not to mention a boyfriend and several jobs/commitments that don’t pay me at all. I have a book collection and a lingerie collection. I have videos where I am fully clothed, and videos where you can see my panty lines.

None. Of. The. Above. Have. Anything. To. Do. With. My. (Or. Anyone. Else’s.) Stance. On. Equality.

So here, have some fabulous pictures of me in minimal clothing. You can see my thighs, my tits, my butt, and even the outline of my cunt. None of that means I am offering my body to you in any way - my body is mine to do exactly what I want with, whenever I goddamn want to do it.

Next time you wanna comment on that, come straight to the fucking source, boy. Equality means I can kick your ass too.

This post is still a good post.

It was six in the morning by the time I finally fell asleep that night, that first night; on your chest, of course,
For where else could I feel so at home, after countless nights of solitude?
That was the first night,
I can’t count how many there have been since,
I hope I am never able to count
(because surely then, the number will keep rising?)
But I shall always remember the first night,
The night you stayed awake and talked to me, we didn’t close the curtains because the moonlight lit our eyes up and something inside of us wanted to see the other,
until dawn when we parted ways.
I told you that night, that morning, that it was only you; it had been you for such a long time but cowardice kept me from mentioning
how the contrast between
your almond skin and mine, like soymilk
your limbs twice as long as mine
your touch, smell and voice much gentler
than my attempts to be noticed all my life,
were in fact giving me reason to kiss the sunshine.
I kissed it daily when I couldn’t kiss you; but each time the sun set I would dream of it, darling,
wondering if I’d ever have the chance -
You said if it were anyone, ever, it would be me
& now it is.
I wandered, as I walked across the river, gazing down at water too far away to reflect my tired eyes, already starting to miss you,
would you always be as far away as those ripples down there?
As my bare feet trod through damp grass, I felt the uncontrollable urge to fling myself upon it, to pretend the softness came from your skin - yet now it seems, your almond skin is mine for the taking,
Don’t worry, you may keep it,
as long as you use it to hold me steady.

I posted this at the very start of 2013, when Andrew and I first began dating. It was an adaptation of something I had written (and shared on this blog) before we officially got together, but was forced to take down by someone very manipulative who was attempting to get between us. The original was much better, it was raw, it was sweet and it, like I, had no idea whether the person I was writing about would ever become my person.

Don’t get me wrong, this is a nice reminder of how special and different the start of our relationship was, but I wish I still had the first draft. It was in a journal that was stolen from me, so I guess it’s gone forever.

A year and a half later and we live in a beautiful house full of books, artwork, records and most importantly, love. Life is funny.

Daisy Lola.

(via myskiesaregray)

thefoxpost asked:

heyy, I was just wondering; does your confidence/not caring what other people think come naturally or do you work on it (in that case how??), because I feel I need to write down reminders or quotes to myself to develop into a more confident person. i have confidence but it fails sometimes, and i would like to give more fucks, not just think about giving fucks but then failing when they should be given!! :3

Hi! I thought I had answered this before, so I went to http://www.daisylola.com/tagged/confidence - turns out I haven’t (or if I did, I never tagged it) but it’s a cool lil section of my blog you may like/find useful anyway!

There is nothing wrong with having to work on your confidence, bb. Seriously, the fact that you are self aware enough to recognise when your confidence waivers and manage to do something about it/actively work on bettering yourself is amazing. Personally I find it easy because I was raised by parents who instilled a high level of self worth and self belief within me, but I haven’t always found it easy at all. I’ve said before that I 100% attribute my confidence to being involved in drama and performing arts from age 3-18, so if you can find anything like that in your area I urge you to immerse yourself in it!

I don’t ever really feel low in self confidence but I get very irrationally down sometimes/often live with a very weird feeling of impending doom and when that happens what helps me is to write lists. Lists of things to look forward to/lists of positive things that happened that day/lists of activities I could do if I were visiting a certain country/whatever - I think that could definitely work when it comes to confidence as well. You could do lists of incidents where you wish you were more confident/lists of talents and awesome things about you/lists of your morals and beliefs - I think it’s all about cementing your sense of self. Once that comes, the rest is easy.

Good luck!