A man at a bar was recently watching me, and said to my (non tattooed) friend, “Tattoos are a young girl’s way of saying, ‘Look at me’, and that is all.” She didn’t tell me he had said this until a few hours later, but goddamn I wish she had.

If she had, I would have walked straight up to him, looked him square in the eyes and said, “Look at me”.

I do not sexualise my tattoos. They’re on my arms. Feel free to look at them, feel free to look at me. I also sometimes have pink hair, or eyebrows that go halfway up my forehead, or shoes with inch-long spikes on them. Feel free to look at them, feel free to look at me.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to blend into the crowd, and there is also nothing wrong with wanting to be looked at. You can look at me all you like, boring businessman in suit. You can look at me and be disgusted, you can look at me and be amazed, you can look at me and think nothing of my tattoos/face/makeup/clothing, or you can look at me and decide you know something about me,

because at the end of the day I have made some kind of impact on you and you literally do not exist to me at all.

So yes, please, continue to look at me. Stare as much as you like. Stare at me and talk about me, do what you please… If you ask politely, I might even let you get a closer look! 

I am a super awesome, complex, intelligent individual with a lot to offer the world. I am talented and driven and I plan on going far - maybe the girl next to me with no tattoos is just as rad, if not more so than I am! Maybe the girl across the room with facial tattoos is even smarter than we are; maybe her friend in the fake tan with the fake tits is the most interesting one out of us all, and is going to revolutionise the world one day.

The great thing, though, Mr. Boring Businessman, is that none of these factors, nothing to do with our aesthetic, entitles you to know anything about us. 

We don’t judge you for your appearance, but lemme tell you something about your attitude; it shows you have nothing to offer at all.

So please, sir, fucking look at me.

Also, my mother’s Music Likes on Facebook are:

• Alternative rock
• The Kamikaze Thundercats
• The Pissfits
• Punk rock
• Blondie

YES GOOD, I WAS RAISED BY THE BEST.

Seven months ago, I met a guy at a Halloween party and I clicked with him more than I have clicked with anyone in a really long time. He looked like a complete doofus because he was wearing purple short shorts and a pink crop top (what 23-year-old dresses up as Dora the Explorer?!) but he made me laugh all night, we talked about tattoos and music and books and got along very well - it is not often that I feel like there is no-one else in the room but with him that feeling was instant.

So yeah, I developed a huge crush on him, but then the girl who introduced me to him told me I wasn’t allowed to like him/ever date him so I basically spoke to him on Facebook chat as much as I could for the next month or so, and then we actually started hanging out a little bit and even though it had to be on the sly, every time I saw him I’d leave with a massive grin on my face and he just made me so fucking happy as a mate it was unreal. (Still had a crush on him though.)

Then I was going to England for a month and he drove me to the airport and I wanted him to kiss me goodbye but he didn’t. When I was over there, though, we Skyped for hours every day and I missed him like crazy and I felt like it was going to suck when I got back because being ‘best friends’ with him was awesome but I literally thought he was the hottest human being in the whole world and I could not stop thinking about kissing him.

Anyway I got home at the end of January and he kissed me the first night I got back and he became my boyfriend about ten minutes after that, now I get to see him whenever I like, he puts my feet in his mouth whenever I ask him to (which is often), I get to kiss him in the mornings when he’s disoriented and has sleep in his eyes and smells like boys smell in the mornings, he gets to put up with me when I’m sick and cranky and I get to give him blowjobs whilst we listen to A$AP, how sick is that?!?!

It is one in the morning and I am pretty damn lucky, I reckon.

I’m going to go down and spend a week or so with my mumma tomorrow, get my head sorted, catch up on all my freelance work, acquire myself a new winter wardrobe, potentially get a haircut, take my dog on a lot of beach walks, read some books and miss my boyfriend. I’m excited.